300+ Best Instagram captions for photos and selfies

Does Sunday have to pass?

A blind man walks into a bar … and a jukebox and chair

Here is a secret: you can eat without letting us see your food on Instagram

Who else needs a 6-month holiday two times in 365 days?

You look like you lack a vitamin. Vitamin me

Why is everywhere so bright? It is too ‘A.M’ for me

It’s raining, and you need an ark? You’re in luck because I Noah guy

Wanna drive haters crazy? Then smile.

Love motivational speakers with their aspire to inspire to respire and expire nonsense

Wanna hear a joke? Three participles walk into a bar. The barman looks up and says, ‘this is tense’.

What did zero say to number eight? ‘wow, nice belt , man”

I once had fun; it was horrible.

I wish I were funny – I’d have better Instagram captions.

5% of statistics are false – including this one

My favorite F word is Friday. Guess my favorite.

I definitely didn’t wake up like this.

I Vodka the answer? Maybe not. But it’s definitely worth a shot.

Of course I will keep your secrets – I wasn’t listening after all.

So lazy that I’d have someone pick up my ‘laziness award’ for me

Eating a clock is fun. But it is so time-consuming

Mirror: You look so great today. Opens front camera – Eww

Fall in love? Yeah, no I’d rather fall asleep

Sometimes I’m pretty smart. Other times, I try leaving the car with my seatbelt on.

Life update: Holding my life together with a stapler pin.

As Drake said ” I’m here for a good time not a long time”

Normalize energy-saving mode.

Ever tried saying ‘Bubbles’ when angry? It’s impossible!

There is no ‘we’ in ice-cream

Am I late? So sorry. I was enjoying not being here so much

Smile because nobody knows what is happening anymore

I have a diet pyramid – and caffeine is the cornerstone

I wish I’d be someone’s type, and not only when donating blood.

My heart is saying yes, but my Dad is saying No.

Who else suffers from Mondayticitis?

You never know what you find till you clean the house

Am I a handful? Good thing you’ve got two hands then.

Without coffee in the morning, I feel Depresso

Life may not be perfect, but my body is.

Height: 5.0″. Attitude : 7″

What is your name? Can I call you mine?

Stay in your lane and magic

Smile, wave ,and pretend that you know what you’re doing

Confidence level : Bare-faced pictures with no filters

Good food makes everything so much better.

Be a flat in a room of stilettos.

With plenty power comes jaw-dropping electricity charges.

Wait, you only drink Diet Coke? Then you must be super healthy.